Last year my ex and I broke up. she said it was because I had some growing up to do. Truth be told I was 21 at the time and more interested in partying and drinking than a serious relationship. It wasn’t until after she left me that I realized how much she meant and from then on I couldn’t stop thinking about ways to get my ex back.

If you are like me and more interested in partying and drinking you’ll need to seriously take a look at your relationship. Are you really in love with your ex, or is it just infatuation, or are you in love with the physical attraction?

This may sound harsh, but if you are in party mode there are plenty of other girls looking for the same thing, move on. If you really do love the girl you’re going to be in for some serious adjustments if you want to get her back.

So without further ado here are my steps to get your ex girlfriend back.

1. Take a hard look at yourself. I know this one is hard believe me, but it’s the only way to get some perspective and look at the whole picture objectively. Did your girlfriend break up with you for a particular reason? Most girlfriends give plenty of hints about their concerns long before they break up with you. What are the real reasons you broke up? Most likely there are several things that will come to mind, constant complaints that you know bug her.

2. Carefully decide if she really is the right one for you. Breaking up and getting your ex back can be depressing and emotionally draining activities. Do you love her enough to make some serious changes in your life?

I know for me the drinking and partying were a huge part of my life, but after careful consideration I dropped them for the chance to be with my girl again.

3. Now that you know the main factors that lead to the break up, you can work to overcome them. Concentrate on fixing the primary problems with yourself. Don’t be concerned about petty stuff like justification. If you really want your ex back you will need to do whatever it takes. Including changing the way you are perceived and putting your heart on the line.

For instance if your girlfriend broke up with you because you are too boring you’ve got a lot of work ahead of you. Being boring is a girl’s code word for too predictable. Think about what you can do next time to spice things up and keep your girl on her toes? In this situation you don’t want to give away all your power to the girl. The next time she asks you a question, don’t say whatever you want, or I don’t know, be decisive. Try doing something spontaneous to win her back and prove that you are the man she wants.

For me it was proving to her that my love for her meant more to me than partying and drinking. For this I took the risk of mailing her a letter with my heartfelt feelings. I felt vulnerable, but she called me the night she received the card and asked if I could come over.

Now a quick warning about putting your heart on the line, it can backfire. One of my friends was dumped and rather than writing a heartfelt letter decided he would sing a song for her into her answering machine. I think it was something by Elton John… Bad, bad idea, the girl ended up taking the recording and playing it for all her and his friends.

Lesson of the story is, win her back by showing your ex your heart, just be careful not to put yourself in a position where it can be trampled.

Ok fellas if you’re in the same boat as I was and want to know how to get your girlfriend back you might get something out of this story. First thing is, I’m going to admit it right up front that I screwed up with my girlfriend.

She was my dream girl from college. It took months to get up the nerve to talk to her and ask her out. When we started dating I told her how beautiful she was and paid for everything. I’m talking about flowers, a bracelet, movies, dinner you name it.

I fell for this girl so hard, but you know what. I was losing my cool, I was all over this girl and it drove her away because I was soo clingy. I would text her constantly and always want to be with her.

It went well for about a month and then she started getting distant. In fact on one weekend when I had a big night out planned fo her it went downhill fast. I brought her roses and we went to dinner and then we met up with some friends to go dancing.

I started drinking in order to get up the nerve to go dancing cause I knew she wanted me to. I didn’t want to dance right away, so I told her to dance with her girlfriends.

Well five minutes later she’s dancing with some buffed guy out on the floor, kinda hangin on him. Later on she comes over and looks at me and says, “are you mad.” I wasn’t trying to look mad but I was upset so I said, I don’t think you should be dancing with him like that.”

Next thing you know she says I’m jealous and we start to argue. Then she says something like, you should go find one of the ugly girls to make out with since they don’t like to dance either. She then said she’s leaving and walked out with one of her friends. Surprisingly the dude she was dancing with left like one minute before she left.

The next two days when I tried to call her she didn’t answer my calls or texts. I was so messed up in the head cause I did everything for this girl, and I wasn’t even visibly mad when she started dancing with the guy. She started the fight on purpose!

It wasn’t until later that weeks when I talked to one of her girl friends before I found out what really went wrong. Luckily for me this girl liked to gossip because she told be some juicy facts.

She said that my girlfriend told her that before we started dating she thought I was the cutest guy in the class. She said that when we started dating she really liked me but… after the first few dates I became “friend” material.

Perplexed I asked her what changed her mind since I did everything for this girl, just like I thought she wanted. Her friend goes on to tell me that I was an open book. I didn’t have much sex appeal and I was… boring.

It’s then that I realized that doing everything for this girl made her think of me as a wimp. This girl wanted some one who wasn’t so easy to understand. Basically this girl wanted a challenge.

Suddenly a huge revelation dawned on me. Sexy girls tend to gravitate toward the guys who treat them like crap and walk all over them because they feed off emotion. They don’t care what the emotions are they just want them.

By giving and doing everything for her I basically lost all of my sex appeal. My girl wanted a strong confident man and I was being just the opposite. So now on to the good part…

So when I finally figured this out I immediately did the following.

• Stopped calling her.
• Stopped emailing and texting.
• Stopped crying about it.
• Got a haircut, groomed myself and bought some new clothes.
• Went to class and started talking to my friend about all the stuff I had done the night before.

Acted like nothing had happened and (this is important) stopped being so predicatable. When she said hi to me, rather then say my first response which was, “Why didn’t you return my call,” I said, “I’m doing great, hey don’t sweat the dancing thing I ended up having a really fun time after you left.”

Class started and all through class I saw her continue to look over at me. I kept on like this the rest of the week. Everytime she would engage me in small talk I said upbeat and positive things about how things are going just like my life couldn’t be better.

What’s funny is, on the third day of this, another very attractive girl in the class suddenly perked up and started talking to me about the club. The next day I got up the courage and asked her out. You should have seen the look on my ex girlfriends face, priceless.

Well, long story short my ex called me that night and told me how much she misses me and how sorry she is for what she did. Then she asked if we could go out on the same night I set for my date. I told her sorry, i already had a date. Then she said how about the next night.

My ex girlfriends wanted me back and I had two dates for the same weekend. I was thrilled. Now I’m trying to figure out how to keep this going cause I’m loving the feeling!

I’m a 19 year old guy who until recently was doing pretty well just being single and going to college. Two months ago I met a girl and all of that changed. I had to see her all of the time and after a week or so of dating I asked her to be my girlfriend. She said yes and we began seeing each other practically every day.

Fast forward to one month later and she became my whole life!

My new girlfriend was all I could think about, I called and texted her constantly. When we weren’t together she was all I could think about. Then one day it happened…

My car had broken down, so I was driving a convertible rental car and wanted to show it off. I got the bright idea I’d drive to her house to surprise her and take her to the beach because I knew she was home. I arrived at the exact same time that she was coming out of her house with some other dude!

Not only that, she had a towel and was drying her hair like she just got out of the shower. I drove up to them and said, “what’s up?” The look on her face told me everything I needed to know. She said surprised, “Nothing, we’re just hanging out?”

Confused I said, “I though you’d want to go to the beach today.” Her and the dude just looked at me weird and I said, “ok later,” and left.

As I drove to the beach by myself I was kicking myself, why didn’t I ask what was going on, should I have confronted the guy, should I have confronted my girlfriend. Right now all I can think about is how much I miss her and how much I hate my girlfriend for doing this to me.

It’s been three days since it’s happened and I’m totally confused… I feel lost and just want her back, but I know in my heart I’ve been played!

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For answers on how to get your ex girlfriend back after a break up, you’ll definitely want to follow this link.

My friend introduced me to my ex and his best friend. At first, I didn’t really notice him. I thought he was cute and all, but I didn’t expect him to ask me out three days later and to be such a good guy. We were texting during the weekend and we found out we had some things in common.

By the way he was acting so charming around me, I gradually started falling head over heels with this guy. He would always say the most awesome things–some things most other guys don’t even say. He would even occasionally copy what I would do or say, which was the cutest thing in the world!

We gradually started getting closer and closer. Occasionally we had some hardships..like since I had more experiences with guys, I was always afraid he would do something that he wasn’t supposed to (i.e. talking to other girls behind my back). When he found out I was being this way, he would always CRY and say it didn’t seem like I trusted him.

I did trust him, but to a certain extent, to be honest. And I had previous knowledge of guys by my father saying “the only thing men want in a relationship is sex; especially when we barely knew each other before he asked me out”, so I would always panic. Especially when we were already physical in our relationship. Now its been almost ten months together–and he breaks up with me.

Why? A couple of reasons. He tells me the “main” one, which is because “we had become TOO physical..we would never do anything else [besides making out]” and “we just didn’t have enough in common”. Now I think one of the reasons why we would never do anything else is because my dad wouldn’t let us because my dad didn’t like him at all.

He wouldn’t let me go to his house–a common place to do stuff HE likes (i.e. video games). The other reason which I personally think IS the MAIN reason: my panicking and lack of trust and respect for him. Now since we’ve broken up, we only talked for three days in a row on the phone, and last Sunday he texted me to see how I was doing.

I am aware this is the sign that he still thinks about me, even though we’re currently mutual friends, but does he really still love me? And honestly, this doesn’t make any sense because we’ve stayed together for so long and even THREE girls (two which I didn’t even know) came up to me and said, “He seems so happy when he’s with you.”

So I thought I was being a good girlfriend..and I think this whole thing was my fault. And I really want him back to not just be a better girlfriend..but to care and love him..just like how we did ten months ago. What can I do?

Does my ex still have feelings for me? It’s a question I desperately need answered because it’s been a little over one month now since we broke up and he still calls me and wants to see me. But he was the one who broke up with me last month and I think it’s some kind of a test.

The reason he gave for breaking up was that I needed to stop talking to my other guy friends. I can understand his jealousy, but some of these friends I’ve known for years. The relationship is innocent and I don’t think he trusts me.

But I really do still love him, we were together for seven months and he’s 20 and I’m 18. Should I tell him I’ll stop talking to these other guys to be exclusive? I don’t want to lose him if it’s really my fault.

Thanks from confused Megan in California.

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