Girlfriend Still Talks With Ex-Boyfriends

If you’ve got a girlfriend who still talks with her ex-boyfriends you probably want to know why, and what you can do about it. First thing to consider is how did you find out about her talking with the ex boyfriend. Was she open and honest about the communication, or was it something you found out by accident?

If it was something she was trying to hide then you may have a serious problem. For one thing, how often is the contact taking place and why? Since it’s her ex, you need to try to understand the need to connect with the ex in the first place.

Obviously if they didn’t have kids together there shouldn’t be a whole lot of contact. Otherwise it would become a constant source of frustration that you should not be willing to deal with and you should let her know.

However, if your girlfriend is upfront and honest about it and willing to discuss it with you, then you should be “somewhat,” understanding. No matter what, it is a difficult situation to be in and one which you should communicate your feelings about in order to make sure it doesn’t escalate into resentment and bad feelings.

Partners in any long-term relationship need to have respect for one another which is the foundation of a long lasting relationship. Talking to an ex, whether friendly chit-chat or not is usually not a sign of respect to your current love. She needs to understand that if she loves and respects you, then you need to know what is going on with the two of them and ask for it to stop.

You need to let her know that while it’s good to remember and learn from the past it should not influence your current relationship. Tell your girlfriend how you really feel about the contact with the ex boyfriend and always trsut your gut feelings. If it doesn’t feel right, it’s probably not.

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Comments
June 24, 2008

Communication is the way to go in a situation where the girlfriend is talking with ex-boyfriends. I know from experience whenever an ex boyfriend started calling me again they only wanted one thing. Everyone does things for a reason. If your girlfriend is talking you need to know what it is!

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Posted by Angry EXNo Gravatar
May 13, 2009

I just found out that my girlfriend is talking to her ex boyfriend from one of her friends. What really drives me crazy is she has brought him up in conversation before, talking about him in a good way. She would drop his name from time to time saying things like, my ex boyfriend used to do this, or he knew so and so.

At the time I thought she was just trying to add to our conversation, now I’m wondering what I should do. I guess I’ll have to confront her with this. I just don’t want to sound too jealous.

And, If there is something going on I want to catch her rather than warn her and have it keep going on behind my back.

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Posted by BradNo Gravatar
November 16, 2010

I agree 100%! My ex as of Novemember 16,th 2010 play the same f***ing game and finds reason everytime why this tpe of behavior is okay! Your best bet is to leave and find someone that will give you 100% as well as respect you.
The only reason WHY they do this is simple, there is unfinished business and they prefer to keep in close contact incase “YOU” are a failure somewhere down the road and they feel the need to speak to someone that they claim “knows them!”

In all honesty, FK EM! Seek and you will find better everytime, you just need to apply yourself and you will do just fine. Let go, DO NOT CALL, TEXT, EMAIL or go to their home, just be done. It works and you will find happiness elsewhere.

Good luck to you,
Dane

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Posted by DaneNo Gravatar
November 16, 2010

I agree 100%! My ex as of Novemember 16,th 2010 play the same f***ing game and finds reason everytime why this type of behavior is okay! Your best bet is to leave and find someone that will give you 100% as well as respect you.
The only reason WHY they do this is simple, there is unfinished business and they prefer to keep in close contact incase “YOU” are a failure somewhere down the road and they feel the need to speak to someone that they claim “knows them!”

In all honesty, FK EM! Seek and you will find better everytime, you just need to apply yourself and you will do just fine. Let go, DO NOT CALL, TEXT, EMAIL or go to their home, just be done. It works and you will find happiness elsewhere.

Good luck to you,
Dane

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Posted by DaneNo Gravatar
February 9, 2011

i caught my girl in lie and still havent been able to get over it i want to leave but we have a kid 2gether and its so hard i love her but disloyal and distrust makes me disliked any person at allthe worst part is she tried to cover it up i just feel like im pressed all of a sudden

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Posted by boo boo binxNo Gravatar
April 25, 2011

My current girlfriend and her ex-boyfriend dated for three years through highschool and their Freshman year in college, breaking up last semester, 8 months ago. Throughout our whole relationship, from the time we have met, she has downplayed her involvement with her ex-boyfriend by saying that he had been making attempts to contact her, text her, call her, etc. Recently, I looked through her phone after a number of nights of texts that started with “hahaha” and other words that led me to believe that there had been some sort of discourse beforehand. While looking through the phone, I found out that not only had he been calling, but she had been calling him back, and talking for 5-15 minutes and voicemails had been left by both parties. We have been talking/dating for a total of 5 months, and I this past week, after seeing these communications, I confronted her and basically told her that she could either chose to date me or talk to her ex-boyfriend. Her response was “I can’t just cut him out of my life after three years” and she said this after all I have heard were bad things about how he hurt her so badly. It just really seems like I have been deceived and I suppose I am wondering if I should even bother trying to make things work over the Summer, since they live so close to one another over the Summer, or if I should simply “let it burn”.

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Posted by TrevNo Gravatar
May 17, 2011

I know what you mean man my girlfriend is all of a sudden talking to a guy she slept with before me. Bur what I don’t understand is why all of a sudden now that we have a kid. I tried talking to her but she makes me out to be the bad guy saying I trap her and shit. But all it is is that I don’t want anything coming between my family. And she won’t even kiss me or touch me anymore but once he calls or texts her she in the best mood ever I just want to know what’s going on.

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Posted by JohnNo Gravatar
June 15, 2011

my girl friend sais shes still inlove with her exboyfriend but she dont want to be with him she wants to be with me but she still talks to him all the time

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Posted by robertNo Gravatar
August 15, 2012

Look. We see signs. Bridge out!!: 5000, 2500, 500 ft.
It shouldnt take this long to decide. No woman, or man, for those of u who alternate, is worth the outcome of these situations when they arent handled of the bat. You may end up putting your hands on her. Now, he will definitely find out. How is that? We already know how though. Her reason now will be because you are roughing her up. I made that mistake. Sorry. That goes to show that the wrong woman for you is devastating to your well being. Take your time time and seek maturity. If you are not full of shit yourself, allow her to go through your phone only if you can go through hers. Hope I was of some assistance. Dese b#+%; aint shit!!

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Posted by DamienNo Gravatar
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