If you’ve got a girlfriend who still talks with her ex-boyfriends you probably want to know why, and what you can do about it. First thing to consider is how did you find out about her talking with the ex boyfriend. Was she open and honest about the communication, or was it something you found out by accident?
If it was something she was trying to hide then you may have a serious problem. For one thing, how often is the contact taking place and why? Since it’s her ex, you need to try to understand the need to connect with the ex in the first place.
Obviously if they didn’t have kids together there shouldn’t be a whole lot of contact. Otherwise it would become a constant source of frustration that you should not be willing to deal with and you should let her know.
However, if your girlfriend is upfront and honest about it and willing to discuss it with you, then you should be “somewhat,” understanding. No matter what, it is a difficult situation to be in and one which you should communicate your feelings about in order to make sure it doesn’t escalate into resentment and bad feelings.
Partners in any long-term relationship need to have respect for one another which is the foundation of a long lasting relationship. Talking to an ex, whether friendly chit-chat or not is usually not a sign of respect to your current love. She needs to understand that if she loves and respects you, then you need to know what is going on with the two of them and ask for it to stop.
You need to let her know that while it’s good to remember and learn from the past it should not influence your current relationship. Tell your girlfriend how you really feel about the contact with the ex boyfriend and always trsut your gut feelings. If it doesn’t feel right, it’s probably not.
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