Last year my ex and I broke up. she said it was because I had some growing up to do. Truth be told I was 21 at the time and more interested in partying and drinking than a serious relationship. It wasn’t until after she left me that I realized how much she meant and from then on I couldn’t stop thinking about ways to get my ex back.

If you are like me and more interested in partying and drinking you’ll need to seriously take a look at your relationship. Are you really in love with your ex, or is it just infatuation, or are you in love with the physical attraction?

This may sound harsh, but if you are in party mode there are plenty of other girls looking for the same thing, move on. If you really do love the girl you’re going to be in for some serious adjustments if you want to get her back.

So without further ado here are my steps to get your ex girlfriend back.

1. Take a hard look at yourself. I know this one is hard believe me, but it’s the only way to get some perspective and look at the whole picture objectively. Did your girlfriend break up with you for a particular reason? Most girlfriends give plenty of hints about their concerns long before they break up with you. What are the real reasons you broke up? Most likely there are several things that will come to mind, constant complaints that you know bug her.

2. Carefully decide if she really is the right one for you. Breaking up and getting your ex back can be depressing and emotionally draining activities. Do you love her enough to make some serious changes in your life?

I know for me the drinking and partying were a huge part of my life, but after careful consideration I dropped them for the chance to be with my girl again.

3. Now that you know the main factors that lead to the break up, you can work to overcome them. Concentrate on fixing the primary problems with yourself. Don’t be concerned about petty stuff like justification. If you really want your ex back you will need to do whatever it takes. Including changing the way you are perceived and putting your heart on the line.

For instance if your girlfriend broke up with you because you are too boring you’ve got a lot of work ahead of you. Being boring is a girl’s code word for too predictable. Think about what you can do next time to spice things up and keep your girl on her toes? In this situation you don’t want to give away all your power to the girl. The next time she asks you a question, don’t say whatever you want, or I don’t know, be decisive. Try doing something spontaneous to win her back and prove that you are the man she wants.

For me it was proving to her that my love for her meant more to me than partying and drinking. For this I took the risk of mailing her a letter with my heartfelt feelings. I felt vulnerable, but she called me the night she received the card and asked if I could come over.

Now a quick warning about putting your heart on the line, it can backfire. One of my friends was dumped and rather than writing a heartfelt letter decided he would sing a song for her into her answering machine. I think it was something by Elton John… Bad, bad idea, the girl ended up taking the recording and playing it for all her and his friends.

Lesson of the story is, win her back by showing your ex your heart, just be careful not to put yourself in a position where it can be trampled.

This might be a departure from the normal Get Your Ex Back story, but I need help. I’m 20 and my boyfriend of 5 months broke up with me last month. The reason he gave was he needed to concentrate on school and I was too big a distraction for him.

Now, unfortunately I can’t get him out of my head. He’s all I think about and I love him very much. The weird thing is in the last week he has been showing up all the time. First he came in to my work and lingered around talking to me about things. Next he called me and asked if I had seen one of his shirts that I know I don’t have. Finally he emailed me and wanted to know what i was doing for spring break.

I’m pretty sure these are all signs that my ex boyfriend still loves me…

Now, I’m perplexed because he broke up with me. But suddenly he’s everywhere I look. I want him back but I don’t want to make a fool out of myself asking him what he wants. Should i wait for him to make a move, if so should I even accept. My mom told me to never let a guy walk all over you.

Would it be walking all over me if I went back out with him?