Last year my ex and I broke up. she said it was because I had some growing up to do. Truth be told I was 21 at the time and more interested in partying and drinking than a serious relationship. It wasn’t until after she left me that I realized how much she meant and from then on I couldn’t stop thinking about ways to get my ex back.

If you are like me and more interested in partying and drinking you’ll need to seriously take a look at your relationship. Are you really in love with your ex, or is it just infatuation, or are you in love with the physical attraction?

This may sound harsh, but if you are in party mode there are plenty of other girls looking for the same thing, move on. If you really do love the girl you’re going to be in for some serious adjustments if you want to get her back.

So without further ado here are my steps to get your ex girlfriend back.

1. Take a hard look at yourself. I know this one is hard believe me, but it’s the only way to get some perspective and look at the whole picture objectively. Did your girlfriend break up with you for a particular reason? Most girlfriends give plenty of hints about their concerns long before they break up with you. What are the real reasons you broke up? Most likely there are several things that will come to mind, constant complaints that you know bug her.

2. Carefully decide if she really is the right one for you. Breaking up and getting your ex back can be depressing and emotionally draining activities. Do you love her enough to make some serious changes in your life?

I know for me the drinking and partying were a huge part of my life, but after careful consideration I dropped them for the chance to be with my girl again.

3. Now that you know the main factors that lead to the break up, you can work to overcome them. Concentrate on fixing the primary problems with yourself. Don’t be concerned about petty stuff like justification. If you really want your ex back you will need to do whatever it takes. Including changing the way you are perceived and putting your heart on the line.

For instance if your girlfriend broke up with you because you are too boring you’ve got a lot of work ahead of you. Being boring is a girl’s code word for too predictable. Think about what you can do next time to spice things up and keep your girl on her toes? In this situation you don’t want to give away all your power to the girl. The next time she asks you a question, don’t say whatever you want, or I don’t know, be decisive. Try doing something spontaneous to win her back and prove that you are the man she wants.

For me it was proving to her that my love for her meant more to me than partying and drinking. For this I took the risk of mailing her a letter with my heartfelt feelings. I felt vulnerable, but she called me the night she received the card and asked if I could come over.

Now a quick warning about putting your heart on the line, it can backfire. One of my friends was dumped and rather than writing a heartfelt letter decided he would sing a song for her into her answering machine. I think it was something by Elton John… Bad, bad idea, the girl ended up taking the recording and playing it for all her and his friends.

Lesson of the story is, win her back by showing your ex your heart, just be careful not to put yourself in a position where it can be trampled.

Next thing you need to consider is how to create an attention catching profile —> hopefully one that will attract the attention of the man or woman of your dreams.

Even if you still want to get your ex back in the long run, getting out there and making yourself seen will do wonders to boost your confidence and level of attraction.

So, first thing you need to do is start with the profile introduction. Even if writing isn’t your thing… relax, you can do this.

Number one factor to consider when writing your online dating profile is to be absolutely honest about yourself. That doesn’t mean you want to necessarily say anything negative, just don’t be tempted to create some imaginary persona. It will definitely backfire when they find out the truth.

After all, you’re looking for a man or woman who will come to love the real you, right? A great way to list your strengths without going into fantasy land is to examine your past relationships.

Then try listing the things that you liked best about your ex and the things you want to avoid. Also the things you want in a relationship. As your brainstorming write these things down. You can elaborate on the details later as you think about them and transfer them to your online dating profile.

If your last ex had any nasty habits like smoking in the house and you absolutely hated it, then I’m sure you’ll want to try to avoid that in the future. If you’re an animal lover and have a pet kitty, then by all means talk about it. Just like you don’t want to suffer from being exposed to a indoor smoker, you’ll want to let them know that if they’re someone who is allergic, or (gasp) hates cats, they may not be right for you.

One things you do want to include in your online profile is what makes you unique. By accenting the things that make you “so special,” you’ll paint a good picture of yourself, and it will help find people you share the same interests as you.

List the things that are most important in your life and share them. Do you have a love for a certain activity, sport or hobby. Maybe you play a musical instument. What ever you do really well and think Mr. or Mrs. Right will appreciate it, then include it in your description.

If beeing a volunteer is something that makes you feel worthwhile and helpful, adding it may attract someone who at the very least will support you, and maybe even join you. Getting beyond superficial things, will help attract woman or men who share your interests and values.

Now when it comes to pictures you may want to select the best ones you can. If you have pictures from a professional photographer or studio then you should consider using them on your online dating profile. You can hire a photographer to take a set of pictures you can use to make yourself as appealing as possible.

This is especially important because the picture is the FIRST thing they will see of you. Often even before they even open up your profile. Finally what they read inside your profile about yourself will determine if they decide to take action and contact you to followup. So there you have it, follow these steps and you’ll be on your way to having an online dating profile that gets noticed!